Billie Eilish’s Everything I Wanted: Fame, Fear, and Finding Your Ride-Or-Die

In November 2019, Billie Eilish released everything i wanted as a standalone single.

This track became a slow-burning anthem about the darker side of fame.

Co-written with her brother, Finneas, the song originally explored the nightmares and self-doubt that come with stardom.

It was later included in the deluxe edition of her album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, giving fans a deeply introspective piece with the layers we’ve come to expect from Billie.

Billie Eilish When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? Album Artwork

Fame: Not Quite the Dream Job

Eilish isn’t pulling any punches with this track. Inspired by a vivid dream where she leaps off the Golden Gate Bridge and watches in shock as no one notices, she sheds light on the isolating experience fame can bring.

In an interview with Annie Mac on BBC Radio 1, she explained, “I literally had a dream that I killed myself, and nobody cared … The internet sh*t on me for killing myself … and it really did mess me up.”

That raw vulnerability in her lyrics feels like an open window into her world, where the public eye often feels less like an embrace and more like an interrogation.

Released on 13 November 2019, everything i wanted quickly resonated with listeners, reaching #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 and topping charts in several countries, including Ireland and Norway.

Writing “Everything I Wanted”: From Darkness to Connection

This song didn’t come easy. Initially, Eilish wanted to delve into themes of depression, but her brother and producer, Finneas, was hesitant.

He’s openly said he didn’t want to enable her to write “the musical equivalent of giving an alcoholic another beer.”

They compromised by shifting the focus from a solo confession to a mutual declaration of support, transforming the track into a tribute to their relationship.

“Finneas is my brother and my best friend,” she has said. “No matter the circumstance, we always have and always will be there for each other.”

The song’s creation spanned over a year, with the duo working on it between September 2018 and September 2019.

They aimed to capture Billie’s experience with mental health without veering into hopelessness.

Eventually, this song morphed into a narrative about finding solace and strength in someone who genuinely cares.

A Visual Dive: The Music Video’s Submerged Symbolism

The music video, released on 23 January 2020, takes Billie and Finneas on a quiet, ominous drive that ends with them sinking into the ocean.

Directed by Billie herself, the video echoes the themes of isolation and support.

As they stare blankly ahead, clasping hands even as the water fills the car, the visuals hit hard: fame might be a slow, isolating plunge, but at least she’s not going down alone.

The artwork for everything i wanted mirrors this tone with an abstract rendering of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Jason Anderson’s artwork hints at the song’s origin story and Billie’s sense of losing herself in fame.

Mental Health in the Spotlight: “I Tried to Scream, But My Head Was Underwater”

One line stands out, giving listeners a visceral image of her mental state: “I tried to scream, but my head was underwater.”

Fame often amplifies the burden of mental health struggles, and this line captures it with disturbing clarity.

Her struggles are put on display, yet it’s as if her voice can’t quite reach through the noise.

It’s a sentiment that’s relatable not just for celebrities but for anyone who’s ever felt unseen.

The chorus features Finneas’s reassuring words: “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you.”

This line embodies the song’s shift from despair to reassurance, turning it from a lament into a testament of sibling support that’s unwavering despite the pressure of fame.

Billie Eilish “Everything I Wanted”: Accolades and Chart Performance

Everything I Wanted didn’t just resonate with fans; it caught the industry’s attention, too.

At the 63rd Grammy Awards, the track was nominated for Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance, ultimately winning Record of the Year—a major nod to Eilish and Finneas’s unique collaborative strength.

The song debuted at #74 on the Billboard Hot 100, soon reaching #8 and securing its place as one of Eilish’s top hits.

It achieved multi-platinum status in the U.S. and other countries, with quadruple platinum certification in Canada and double platinum in the UK.

Its popularity also landed it on Billboard’s Alternative Songs chart, making it Eilish’s third #1 on the list—a testament to her genre-crossing appeal.

Why Everything I Wanted Stands Out

This song’s power lies in its honesty. While the music industry often celebrates fame as the ultimate goal, Billie uses everything i wanted to show that success comes at a cost.

She’s not just talking about her experiences; she’s inviting fans to see the person behind the hits.

Her message resonates with anyone who’s grappled with self-worth and the search for genuine connections, making this track more than just a song—it’s a relatable anthem for anyone navigating life’s challenges.

In everything i wanted, Billie doesn’t shy away from confronting her darkest thoughts.

Instead, she reshapes them, letting fans know that she’s standing on solid ground—hand-in-hand with the one person who will always have her back.

Billie Eilish Everything I Wanted Lyrics

Verse 1
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you’d think
And if I’m bein’ honest
It might’ve been a nightmare
To anyone who might care
Thought I could fly (Fly)
So I stepped off the Golden, mm
Nobody cried (Cried, cried, cried, cried)
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care (Might care, might care)

Pre-Chorus
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me

Chorus
And you say, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you
Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn’t wonder why you hear
‘They don’t deserve you'”

Verse 2
I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
They called me weak
Like I’m not just somebody’s daughter
Coulda been a nightmare
But it felt like they were right there
And it feels like yesterday was a year ago
But I don’t wanna let anybody know
‘Cause everybody wants something from me now
And I don’t wanna let ’em down

Pre-Chorus
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me

Outro
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?