Let’s just get this out of the way: if you’re here, you’ve probably watched one too many TikToks featuring that painfully relatable pick me girl content.
Maybe it was the one where she shrugs and says, “Ugh, I just get along with guys better—girls are so much drama.”
Or perhaps the video where she goes into full competition mode over, you know, existing near men.
Either way, you’ve likely found yourself thinking, “I would never.” But then… you cringe.
What exactly is a pick me girl? What if, deep down, you might be one?
If you’ve ever caught yourself whispering, What does pick me girl mean?, or worse—How to tell if you are a pick me girl?—then get ready.
We’re about to dive headfirst into this twisted, meme-driven cultural phenomenon.
And fair warning, this might be uncomfortable. But hey, self-awareness is a thing, right?
Not Like Other Girls? Oh Please.
Let’s kick things off with the basics. What is a pick me girl? She’s not just the girl who likes “guy stuff” (because, let’s face it, most of us enjoy some form of “guy stuff” without it being a crime). No, no.
The pick me girl takes it to Olympic levels, aggressively seeking male approval by throwing other women under the bus.
Picture someone who practically lives for that pat on the head from their male buddies after announcing that they, unlike other girls, hate shopping and would rather guzzle down a six-pack and talk sports.
So, what’s a pick me girl really about? She’s an evolution of the “cool girl” trope—you know, the one popularised by that iconic monologue in Gone Girl.
She’s the rom-com character who’s “not like other girls” because she plays video games, eats burgers, and is “one of the guys.”
In reality, she’s a walking cry for attention, aiming to be chosen—no, picked—by men.
What is Pick Me Girl Behaviour? The TikTok Revolution of Cringe
Now, if you’re thinking the pick me girl is some ancient relic of early 2000s rom-coms, TikTok is here to shatter your illusions.
Pick me girls are everywhere on TikTok, and they’ve inspired a viral trend that is impossible to ignore.
Videos mocking pick me behaviour—with exaggerated proclamations that they’re “just one of the boys” while simultaneously insulting anything remotely feminine—have exploded across the platform.
And let’s be honest, it’s great content.
From viral POVs of pick me girls finding out their crush has a girlfriend to over-the-top skits of girls pretending to be “different” from their gasp fellow females, TikTok has perfectly captured the cringe in a way that makes us all squirm—and laugh.
But what does pick me girl mean in practical terms?
Oh, the list is endless. Constantly seeking validation from men? Check.
Dismissing other women as “basic” or “too much drama”? Double check.
And let’s not forget the desperate attempts to seem cool by rejecting anything labelled “girly,” as if enjoying a pumpkin spice latte is a cardinal sin.
Is a Pick Me Girl a Red Flag? More Like a Caution Tape Wrapped Around Self-Esteem Issues.
So here’s the question: Is a pick me girl a red flag? Well, that depends. Is a desire for constant male validation at the expense of other women something you’d call healthy? Probably not.
But beyond the eye-roll-worthy behaviour, there’s something deeper at play: internalised misogyny.
The pick me girl doesn’t just hate on other women for fun (though she definitely tries to make it look that way); she’s stuck in a system that’s taught her to see other women as competition, not allies.
Think about it. The pick me girl bends over backwards to appeal to men, rejecting anything traditionally “feminine” to set herself apart.
She’s not doing this because she genuinely prefers chugging beer over sipping rosé.
No, it’s because the patriarchy whispers in her ear that being “like other girls” is somehow a bad thing.
And that, my friend, is the real red flag—she’s not the villain; she’s a victim of a system she doesn’t even realise she’s perpetuating.
How to Tell if You Are a Pick Me Girl? The Tough Love Checklist.
Now for the tough part. How to tell if you are a pick me girl? Don’t panic. We’ve all had our moments.
Maybe you’ve felt the need to downplay your interests to seem cooler around guys.
Or perhaps you’ve rolled your eyes at another woman for being “too girly.” If so, congratulations, you’ve had your own pick me moment.
But before you spiral into a self-reflective pit of despair, take a breath.
Recognising pick me tendencies is the first step in letting them go.
After all, the only person you should be “picking” is yourself. (Wow, that got deep.)