With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is in the air—or at least, in a lot of marketing emails.
But beyond the heart-shaped chocolates and last-minute dinner reservations, how do you know you love someone?
Is it instinct? A gut feeling? Or is it just your brain playing tricks on you?
Let’s break it down with a little help from music, the universal translator of love.
How Do You Know If You Love Someone?
You don’t have to be writing their name in the margins of your notebook to be in love.
But if you find yourself mentally bookmarking things to tell them, wondering how their day is going, or noticing how even the smallest moments feel like they’d be better with them around, that’s a strong indicator.
Love songs have captured this feeling for decades. Take Etta James’ Something’s Got a Hold on Me—her voice embodies the overwhelming rush of new love: Step by step, I got a brand new walk / I even sound sweeter when I talk. Sound familiar?
Scientists say this isn’t just sentimentality—it’s neurochemistry.
The brain of someone in love releases dopamine, the same chemical responsible for motivation and reward.
In other words, thinking about them makes you feel good, which keeps them in your head even when you’re trying to focus on literally anything else.
How to Know If You Love Someone or If It’s Just Infatuation
Attraction is one thing. Infatuation is another. But how do you know if you love someone? That’s when you like who they are even when the newness fades.
Do you respect their opinions even when they’re different from yours?
Do their quirks make them more interesting rather than annoying?
Would you still want to be around them if romance weren’t on the table?
If so, you’re not just in a honeymoon-phase haze. You’re looking at something more substantial.
Sam Phillips’ Reflecting Light (made famous by Gilmore Girls) captures this moment perfectly: And the moon’s never seen me before / But I’m reflecting light.
It’s about love sneaking up on you—just like real love often does.
What Does It Mean to Love Someone?
Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action. Studies suggest that compassionate love—where you actively prioritise their well-being—is one of the strongest predictors of long-term relationship success.
If their wins feel like yours, if you care about what makes them happy, and if you find yourself remembering their favourite coffee order just because, you might be deeper in than you think.
The Stone Roses’ This Is the One embodies this realisation: Oh, this is the one / This is the one I’ve waited for.
Sometimes, love isn’t loud—it’s the quiet certainty that you’ve found someone worth waiting for.
How to Tell If You Like Someone Romantically
It’s easy to be around someone when you’re in top form—fresh haircut, great outfit, everything going your way.
But how to know if you like someone romantically often comes down to how you feel even in the mundane moments.
If you feel emotionally safe enough to let them see you vulnerable (stress-crying over a work email, ugly-laughing at a bad joke, half-asleep in mismatched pyjamas), that’s a major sign.
Love isn’t just attraction or excitement—it’s trust. Research shows that strong relationships are built on emotional security, not just butterflies.
And if you need a song for this moment, Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows says it all: How much longer will it take to cure this? / Just to cure it ’cause I can’t ignore it if it’s love.
Do I Love Them? The Subtle Clues That Matter
Love doesn’t have to mean grand plans, but if you find yourself casually factoring them into your life without it feeling forced, that’s a strong sign.
Thinking about trips you’d like to take together, picturing them at future events, or just knowing they’ll still be part of your life in some way all point to something real.
Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) sums it up: You brought a lot of sunshine into my life / You filled me with happiness I never knew. Love isn’t just about the present—it’s about seeing a future, too.
And no, this doesn’t mean rushing into long-term plans. It just means that when you picture where you’re headed, they naturally fit into the frame.
How to Know If You Like Someone More Than a Friend
If you find yourself wanting to tell them about every little thing that happens in your day, or if their texts can brighten even the worst afternoon, you’re probably past the friendship line.
Love often sneaks up through deep emotional connection before it even turns into romance.
Sometimes, love is obvious. Other times, it’s hidden in a song lyric that makes you think of them.
Maybe it’s Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley: Like a river flows surely to the sea / Darling, so it goes / Some things are meant to be.
So, Do You Love Them?
There’s no universal checklist for love, but if you see yourself in these signs, you’re probably not just in like.
How to know when you love someone isn’t always a dramatic realisation—it’s often a slow burn, a collection of small moments that add up to something undeniable.
And if you’re still wondering? That might be the best sign of all. Because when it’s just infatuation, you don’t usually stop to ask.
Music captures love in all its forms, from the giddy excitement of Walking on Sunshine to the deep devotion of I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden.
So, if you’re still unsure, maybe the best thing to do is listen. The answer might already be in the lyrics.