Are you one of the thousands of people who are having their Boomtown or Glasto ticket rolled over for ANOTHER year? We can barely meet 6 people outside, let alone share a tent with thousands of sweaty strangers, so the festival season isn’t looking too promising.
However, it’s not all doom and gloom, right? Because there are so many reasons why we should hate festivals anyway. Take a read through some of the top reasons why you shouldn’t be too disappointed that you may have to wait another 12 months before you can crack open a warm tinnie in a broken deck chair…
The stress of losing your friend when no one in the group has a phone signal… anywhere!
Why is it, without fail, you always lose your friend? You made a clear plan to meet by the falafel van with the black sign and now she’s missing with no signal so you can’t get hold of her. The stress is mounting as the countdown begins until the next band is on. What do you do? Wait for them? Leave and assume they’re fine? Run around the festival until you get a signal back? I’ve got grey hairs just thinking about all that stress.
Trying to get ready in a smelly tent with beer, cider and wine for carpet
Whilst the influencers have been waking up in glamorous tipi tents, doing their morning yoga and having refreshing hot showers, we, the civilians, have woken up in a warm pool of last night’s alcohol. How annoying is it when you rally at 7 am, with last night’s glitter sprawled all over your face when pristine beauty queens are looking like they’ve stepped out from the MAC counter?
Boys, you don’t have this problem. We girls can’t just drop and squat against a metal fence. We have to queue the length of the Great Wall of China and we more often than not, forget to bring our own toilet paper. Enduring the stench is one thing, then having to do a Taylor Swift and ‘shake it off’ is another!
It always rains
It’s May, and I’m currently writing this whilst sitting with a hot water bottle listening to a hail storm outside. Need I say more? There is always one group of friends whose tent leaks relentlessly and they are left sleeping on a soggy sleeping bag that smells of Strongbow Dark Fruits and BO.
The clash of your favorite bands
Your two favourite artists are playing at the same time on the other side of the festival.
What do you do? Watch half and half and sprint from one side of the festival to the other? Or, commit to one? You don’t want to pay £20 for the lanyard with the set times and you can’t figure out if you have time to see them both. That just leads to disappointment and anxiety!
Despite all of these negative points, festivals are a watering hole for everyone to come together and have a great time! They’ll be back soon, and maybe the smell of the toilets won’t seem so bad this time around…